I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Randomize
