eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
not ubering you a puppy
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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