I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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