rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
