Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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