This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
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Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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