Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
