After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Randomize
