i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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