i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
You were trust falling into bushes
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
