names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
