It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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