Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
