I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Nicole vs. Life
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
