White coat. Heels.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
