I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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