so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
