I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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