I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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