we're blogging at a bar
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
