You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
