So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
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There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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