you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
