You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
