What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Randomize
