i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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