I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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