The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
