Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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