a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Damn victory sex feels great
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