now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
