Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
