apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
