need another drink. this is the easiest way
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize