definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
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