Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
