im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
