thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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