i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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