Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
