Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Buhtt sex?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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