remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
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Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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