Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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