k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
