Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
