Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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