He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
