I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
