My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
