I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
