I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
