I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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