i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
