oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
