..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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