does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize