i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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