ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize