I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
