A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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