i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
