wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
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When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
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