GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
