You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
