with your own penis?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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